there’s this one artist I like that was talking about in comic form how they realized that they couldn’t do art as only a hobby because their full time job would take all their energy away from art (and so they changed course and became a full time illustrator bc it was their passion)
and it makes me think about how I kinda had to do the reverse making art under capitalism can be very crushing, physically, mentally, and emotionally demanding. especially if you do freelance, you have to always be on your toes, always poking for opportunities for work, having to market yourself all the time, and actively engaging in social media so you can build an audience. on the other end? you’d have to usually relocate to do studio work with a company. they almost always require in house unless it’s indie. and the jobs just aren’t there right now.
for me, I fell off the ‘wanting to be an animator for a studio’ wagon early, and then subsequently fell off the freelance artist train when I burnt myself out so badly it scared me.
I do not have the stamina to work in a studio, and am not willing to relocate to do so.
I do not have the patience, resolve, or willpower to become a freelance artist/social media artist. I don’t care enough about making things to satisfy an audience. i get obsessive with numbers and it becomes my downfall.
I get overwhelmed and insecure that my hard work is reduced to luck, meaning I have no power over how my path goes, regardless if I game the system in every way, shape, or form.
it ruined me and turned me into a workaholic, and I’m never going back to that.
so it’s a hobby for me. and I’d prefer it be that way because it’s more fun, it’s more indulgent, and that’s the reason I made art to begin with. it’s primarily why I mostly draw my ocs, honestly I don’t really care about whether other people like it or not. because I do and that’s the only opinion that matters. of course I do enjoy that people like my stuff as much as I do, but I’m not doing it for them. maybe for some of my friends who are interested for some of my projects, but if I don’t wanna see it through, it’s not going to happen.
it was just interesting for me to get another perspective— while I dont think— actually, I know— I wouldn’t go down a freelance path again, I’m glad to see people were lucky enough to do so.
I’d like to hope one day I can sustain off my art. but it’s no skin off my back if not. anymore at least!